The Road to Recovery Update keeps you informed about activities leading up to National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month (Recovery Month) in September. Feel free to forward this information to friends and colleagues, include it in newsletters or listservs, or link  to it from your Web site.

Last Call for Questions for May’s Ask the Expert: Thomas A. Kirk, Jr., Ph.D., Commissioner, Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services

Questions for the May Road to Recovery Webcast, Providing a Continuum of Care: Improving Collaboration Among Services, are due by Friday, May 22, 2009.

Submit your questions to Dr. Kirk by contacting us. Answers from Dr. Kirk will be posted on the Recovery Month Web site in early June. Contact information for questions will be kept confidential.

Mark Your Calendars for the June 3, 2009, Road to Recovery Webcast: Recovery and the Health Care/Insurance Systems: Improving Treatment and Increasing Access

On June 3, join host, Ivette Torres, Associate Director for Consumer Affairs, Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), for the June 2009 Road to Recovery Webcast.

When the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Act of 2008 becomes effective in 2010, additional options will become available to those seeking addiction and mental health services. The Act will require group health plans to offer coverage for addiction and mental illness and provide benefits on par with those for all other medical and surgical conditions.

This program will examine what impact the Act will have on health care and insurance systems and what it means for individuals and families battling addiction. The show will also explore other issues related to health care’s role in recovery, such as proper screening and intervention, prescription drug abuse prevention, and treating co-occurring disorders.

By Sue Scheff, Weston, FL
sue.helps@helpyourteens.com

Deception, Misrepresentation & Fraud

After experiencing my good teen making some bad choices, I found myself on the Internet surfing until I was so confused and stressed I couldn’t make any decision. One group of specialty schools and behavior modification programs kept popping up wherever I clicked; I figured they must be good. Then I received their beautiful glossy literature with a video that could make any parent weep (I actually received 4 packets of the same material)! The cost was reasonable in comparison with other programs, or so I thought until I enrolled my child. The hidden costs added up like a grocery bill. I was totally misled by my rash decision. This is a common mistake when parents are placed in a desperate situation and a swift sales rep is waiting for you; answering every question the way you want to hear it and making promises that convince you that they can help your child.

My true nightmare was just beginning. 

Impressed by the fancy words and glossy brochures, I enrolled my child with the understanding that they were qualified help. I am ashamed to say, I never did a background check on these programs. I had called their parent references that they gave me (and later found out they were paid to talk to me, some actually receiving a free month’s tuition). I know many of you are thinking I must have been nuts, and you are right. While in this stage of my life, I was in a total frenzy. I truthfully just wanted help for my child and thought for the money I was paying, it must be good.

Long story short, my frenzy and desperation was my biggest mistake I made. This was not what they sold me. It was more of a warehousing of teens program. I was looking for therapy and internalization through the help of professionals. I believe if you take a negative child, and put them in a negative environment, it builds resentment and anger. Literally, this is what I had done. I had no idea as to what I did. Fraud, misrepresentation, combined with a vulnerable parent can lead to danger for a child in my opinion.

I attempted using the so-called Independent Educational Consultant that immediately wanted a check for $350.00 just to talk to me. They claimed they could help me (without even knowing my daughter) for about another $3000.00 or more. 

It was a couple of months later, after I attended some very bizarre seminars that were mandated in order to visit your child that I realized I had made a big mistake. I wrote my withdrawal letter immediately after the second seminar. Actually, in retrospect, red flags went up shortly after I dropped my child off and I asked who the psychologist would be, and guess what, there was none, unless I wanted to pay extra! So who led the group therapy they raved about? There was no group therapy, there was a person who sat in a circle with them as they reflected, which was usually another student. I would have hired their psychologist for another $100 per visit, but why? We could have done that at home. Their sales reps told me that there was a licensed therapist “on staff and on site”. I should have pulled my child then, however I thought I was over-reacting since I was in such confusion and frenzy. The staff was very good at convincing me to “trust the program” instead of addressing my concerns.

During my child’s entire stay of almost 6 months, I was never allowed to speak with my child. I only spoke with an employee once a week for about 15 minutes (In my further research, these employees had no credentials and many didn’t have education beyond High School including the President of the Organization). My child wrote me letters: some good, some bad. The good ones were considered manipulation; the bad ones were considered proof that they needed to stay longer. I couldn’t win and neither could my child.

After observing and listening to some of the other teens there and their families, I realized it was all very strange. Some of these kids were there for well over a year and the families were so deep into this program, it was sickening and sad. The support group meetings were like a Stepford Family Reunion, with a leader making her financial profits. These poor kids just wanted to be loved and held by their parents, who couldn’t be there. I later found out it usually takes up to 6 months to speak with your child, and in most cases up to a year to see them. Although they sell you another story, the truth be known, most take 2-3 years to graduation. Recently I understand a law was passed that mandates you can see your child after 3 months. I am not sure if this group of programs is abiding by this new regulation; however, it is in place.

I brought my child home and when she felt confident I wouldn’t send her back, I heard some unspeakable stories. The stories were very consistent with many others I was hearing and reading about. My child went immediately into real counseling where, after almost two years, we are recovering from this traumatic experience in our lives. My child was suffering from depression and nightmares from the stay at Carolina Springs Academy. The fear of being sent back, had created suicidal thoughts, however the excellent psychologist helped my child through this horrible post experience of WWASP. I have heard from many other post-WWASP students and families suffering from the same symptoms, which is very sad.

I firmly believe, until you walk the shoes as a parent of a teen, you really don’t know the feeling of hopelessness. I have been there and I have survived and learned from it. I believe in sharing my knowledge of this, very political, industry with as many families as possible. It is very scary to know that even Independent Educational Consultants (that are supposed to be professionals) have no state or government regulations. In other words, anyone can state they are Educational Consultants. This combined with the misrepresentation of schools and programs, is very frightening and costly in many ways.

Our experiences occurred with Carolina Springs Academy, one of many of their programs that are part of the World Wide Association of Specialty Programs (WWASP aka WWASPS aka Premier Educational Systems). Some of the program names are: Cross Creek Manor - UT, Cross Creek Center - UT, Spring Creek Lodge - MT, Tranquility Bay - Jamaica, Casa By The Sea (closed due to allegations of neglect and abuse), Academy at Dundee Ranch (raided and closed), Academy at Ivy Ridge - NY (accreditation suspended in April 2004; 2005 State Attorney General Spitzer made Ivy Ridge pay approx. $1.65 Millions Dollars in fines and to parents for Educational Fraud), Majestic Ranch - UT, Pacific View, Midwest Academy - IA, Paradise Cove (closed due to allegations of neglect and abuse), Morava Academy (closed due to allegations of neglect and abuse), Darrington Academy - GA, and Horizon’s Academy - NV. I feel all of their programs are simply boot camps that claim internalization; however, lack it tremendously. Their specialty is cash cropping children; marketing and using a child are part of their strategy. They are, in my opinion, a children’s warehouse and a parents’ escape from their desperate situation. Their deluxe *Marketing and Pyramid skills seems to be what they specialize in.

In many parents and professionals’ opinions, the fine line of their cult-like program is enough to destroy many families and children, as we have many testimonials to. (Please review some of our Informational Articles for more true stories). I am speaking from experience. I used to sell their program and market their schools to gain free months’ tuition. Yes, whenever you refer a family, you would get a free month! What a concept, and I fell for it! Being involved in selling the program controls your mind in the consistency of how great they are when in reality, you have not even spoken to your child. I had no idea how the program was working; I was just trained to sell like a good follower.

There are many followers of this program who have become programized. There is many like myself, and more waking up daily. Dateline, Primetime, 48 Hours & Inside Edition has done segments on this organization that paint the same picture of negative experiences. There are many newspaper and magazine articles (including People, Forbes, New York Times, LA Times, News Day, Miami Herald, Sun Sentinel, Guardian, Jamaican Observer, YM Magazine, Salon, Time Magazine, Spin, etc.) and lawsuits pending against WWASP that they are struggling to keep silent. Where there is smoke, there is usually fire. Why take a chance with your child?

Many wonder why they are allowed to continue, it is simple, money and plenty of it. Money is usually the root of evil, and it seems obvious with this. I am a firm believer that one day WWASP aka WWASPS aka Premier Educational Systems will be held accountable for their actions. The day will come that many truths will be exposed. For the sake of the silent cries of the children, the sooner the better.

First Lawsuit WON Against WWASP:

P.U.R.E. ™ is proud to have defeated WWASP (click here to learn more about this victory) as they attempted to silence P.U.R.E. ™ and myself.  Please note that we won in their state of Utah. I believe this is the first of many wins.  Additionally, in June of 2006, P.U.R.E. went on to defeat WWASP in the Federal Supreme Court of Appeals.

I hope my experiences have saved parents from making the mistake I made in desperation. I am sharing my personal experiences to create awareness about the misrepresentation and fraud I endured. This story was not written out of malice against WWASP (World Wide Association of Specialty Programs), it was written for the principle and morals that they lacked. I think they call it “Accountability.”  I am accountable for what I have written as being the truth as I experienced it.

*As a footnote for their Marketing, when I was searching, I was recruited by a Miami based parent that has made a mission (in many peoples’ opinions) of building this pyramid for WWASP. Although she claimed she had no financial gain from this, we have further learned that she collects large sums of money for her involvement with WWASP. Although she states she makes her income from her Title Company, it was discovered that she was arrested in February 2002 on charges of illegally diverting nearly $6 million in trust money through a variety of schemes. Lynn Pretzfeld, of Miami Florida, was charged with conspiracy to commit racketeering and grand theft.

According to the Florida Department of Insurance, the now closed Title Examiners Inc. diverted money into personal accounts from escrow accounts. 

UPDATE - According to public record, on June 3, 2003, Lynn Pretzfeld is now a Convicted Felon and on 10 years probation as well as paying restitution. Case #F02003735B (Click here to view PDF file)

Please note that WWASP seems to make it a habit to change their names. When I was involved, it was WWASP. A couple years ago, it became WWASPS (with an “s”) and presently we understand they are opening under Premier Educational Systems. I assume when parents do Search Engine research, it eliminates any bad press that may be associated with previous names. This is just an opinion. If you have nothing to hide, why the constant name changes?

As of May 2009 it is believed that WWASP aka WWASPS or Premier Educational Systems LLC has affiliations with the following: 

Academy of Ivy Ridge, NY (CLOSED)
Bell Academy, CA (CLOSED)
Canyon View Park, MT
Camas Ranch, MT
Carolina Springs Academy, SCCasa By the Sea, Mexico (CLOSED)
Cross Creek Programs, UT (Cross Creek Center and Cross Creek Manor)
Darrington Academy, GA (CLOSED)**Discovery - Mexico (see below)
Help My Teen, UT (Adolescent Services Adolescent Placement) Promotes and markets these programs.
Gulf Coast Academy, MS (CLOSED)
Horizon Academy, NV
Jane Hawley - Lifelines Family Services
Kathy Allred - Lifelines Sales Representative
Lisa Irvin - Helpmyteen and Teens in Crisis
Lifelines Family Services, UT (Promotes and markets these programs) Jane Hawley
Mark Peterson - Teen Help Sales Representative
Majestic Ranch, UT
Midwest Academy, IA (Brian Viafanua, formerly the Director of Paradise Cove as shown on Primetime, is the current Director here)
Parent Teen Guide - Promotes and markets these programs
Pillars of Hope, Costa Rica
Pine View Christian Academy, (Borders FL, AL, MS)
Reality Trek, UT
Red River Academy, LA (Borders TX)
Respect Academy, NV
Royal Gorge Academy, CO (CLOSED)
Sherri Schwartzman - Lifelines Sales Representative
Sky View Academy, NV (allegedly closed?)
Spring Creek Lodge, MT (CLOSED) Rumors they have re-opened in another location of MT.
Teen Help, UT (Promotes and markets these programs)
Teens In Crisis - Lisa Irvin
Tranquility Bay, JamaicaOceanside, CA - rumors of short term program there.

**There is reason to believe a new program in Mexico is now open - parents need to be aware of this. It is believed they may have re-opened Casa By the Sea location with another name - possibly Discovery. We have heard that Jade Robinson is running this program - he was formerly at Horizon Academy, Bell Academy (closed) and Casa by the Sea (closed).

In addition to the legal battle with WWASP, P.U.R.E. and founder Sue Scheff won an unprecedented $11.3 million jury verdict for Internet defamation. Despite being vindicated, many of the attacks on P.U.R.E. continue out of malice and spite.

When you can’t defeat someone legally, it seems the Internet/Keypad is the next best legal lethal tool - or so they thought.  Pre-Order my next book - Google Bomb, when revenge becomes e-venge to find out how I won this landmark case.

by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D.

Even if summer vacation is still a few months away for most teens, now is the time to plan and lay a foundation for landing that cool summer job you really want.

Some caveats: This article is really geared to older high school and college teens, with a focus on summer jobs, not internships. For younger teens (under 15), check out another article I wrote, Job Ideas for Teens 15 and Younger: Beyond Babysitting. For college students looking for internship tips, we’re working on such an article, but for now, please visit: Quintessential Careers: College Internship Resources.

The Action Plan for Teens Wanting a Summer Job
The first step you need to do is decide on the summer job you want or need -– in terms of the type of job, the location, the hours, the pay. You may not be able to find a job that meets all your needs, but given the current employment situation you should strive to find one that meets as many as possible.

The second step you need to do is complete a self-analysis. What do you have to offer an employer? What kind of skills do you have? What kind of other work have you done -– paid or volunteer? What have you learned at school that might be useful in your ideal summer job?

The third step you need to do is develop a resume. You will put forth a very professional image if you present a professional-looking resume to potential employers. You’ll want to visit Quintessential Careers: Resume Resources. You’ll also need to learn about cover letters, so plan on visiting Quintessential Careers: Cover Letter Resources.

The fourth step you need to do is use all your available resources to land that ideal summer job. Talk with your parents and older family members, your friends’ parents, your teachers, and any other adults you know and ask them if they have any contacts at your ideal job’s company. Give them copies of your resume. We call this step networking, and it will give you the highest chances of landing your ideal job.

The fifth step is hitting the pavement, reading the newspaper want ads, and/or surfing the Web. If you don’t get any job leads from the fourth step, you have to take action!

The sixth step is applying for the jobs that interest you. This step is where you again use your resume. Make sure you are familiar with job applications and have all the information you need to complete them.

The seventh step is interviewing for the jobs. Make sure you know something about the company; develop answers to common interview questions; think of a few questions you could ask; practice, practice, practice with a family member of friend; dress conservatively for the interview. You can read these interviewing tips in more detail — and find lots more — by visiting Quintessential Careers: Interviewing Resources.

Where Teens can Find Summer Jobs
There are any number of places where you can look for a good summer job:

• Local merchants: local stores often need good help – and not just in the summer.
• Small businesses: most towns have a number of small business offices – and your family or friends probably know several owners or office managers.
• Corporate offices: many have established summer jobs and internship programs, but often these are the most competitive.
• Stores at the mall: have a favorite store you like to shop at in the mall? Maybe now is the time to get a job there –- just be careful not to spend all your earnings buying their products.
• Hotels and resorts: summer is the busy season for most hotels and resorts.
• Tourist attractions: even if you don’t live in Florida or California, most states have tourist attractions that especially need help during the busy tourism season.
• Golf & Tennis clubs: as the weather improves, these clubs are usually looking for part-time help.
• Grocery stores: maybe not the most exciting jobs, but probably the most convenient -– and not just for summer.
• Fast food and restaurants: local restaurants always need good help -– and while not the most glamorous, it’s still a job.
• Parks and recreation departments: city, state, and national parks and recreation departments often develop special summer programs, and thus have job opportunities.
• Local government summer job programs: often various government agencies sponsor different kinds of summer youth work programs.
• Summer camps: okay, you went to camp as a kid – now you can go back as a counselor and get paid while being at camp.
• Working for yourself: there are all sorts of jobs/businesses you could develop for yourself in your neighborhood –- Check out my article, Job Ideas for Teens 15 and Younger: Beyond Babysitting.
• The Web: especially if you want to work outside your neighborhood, or even your state, the Web is the place for you to explore all sorts of summer job opportunities -– so go visit Quintessential Careers: Summer Job Websites.

What do Employers Look for in Teens
Employers want motivated teens who are going to arrive to work on time, have a positive attitude, work hard, work well with others, show leadership qualities, work their full shift, and do the best job they can. You need to show your employer that you are a good investment, both for the current position, as well as for any potential future positions.

Final Words of Advice
Jobs are jobs. You are going to have to work, no matter how “cool” the job or company, so be prepared for some days to not be as great as others. The keys to remember are that you are earning money, you are gaining experience, and you are making good contacts (and references)!

Questions about some of the terminology used in this article? Get more information (definitions and links) on key college, career, and job-search terms by going to our Job-Seeker’s Glossary of Job-Hunting Terms.

Dr. Randall S. Hansen is founder of Quintessential Careers, one of the oldest and most comprehensive career development sites on the Web, as well CEO of EmpoweringSites.com. He is also founder of MyCollegeSuccessStory.com and EnhanceMyVocabulary.com. He is publisher of Quintessential Careers Press, including the Quintessential Careers electronic newsletter, QuintZine. Dr. Hansen is also a published author, with several books, chapters in books, and hundreds of articles. He’s often quoted in the media and conducts empowering workshops around the country. Finally, Dr. Hansen is also an educator, having taught at the college level for more than 15 years. Visit his personal Website or reach him by email at randall(at)quintcareers.com.

Reprinted with permission; copyright Quintessential Careers

Source: Connect with Kids

Can Students Prevent Violence by Telling?

“He was saying ‘I’m gonna kill people,’ everyone took it as a joke. I can’t say that I would take it any differently.”

– Joanna, 15, talking about the school shooting in Santee, California

A student who seems strange, a comment that sounds frightening … how can students tell who’s serious and who isn’t, what’s a joke and what’s a real threat?

The problem is students say those kinds of ‘jokes’ are made all the time.

“I’ve had friends who were just like, ‘man I just want to kill that teacher’ or ‘I just hate it here and want to blow up the school,’” says Tara-Lynn, a high school junior, “I’ve probably said things like that myself.”

“I mean I hear people say that all the time.  I don’t take it seriously,” adds Joanna, a freshman.

When should students take it seriously?   They’re in a bind.  If they tell on someone, they’re called a rat or a snitch. If they don’t tell, someone could die or be injured.    Always in the back of their mind, what if they tell on someone… and they’re wrong? 

“How do you know you’re not gonna just end up crying ‘wolf’ all the time, every time a kid makes a threat,” says Cliff, a junior.

How should kids evaluate a threat?  Experts say first, kids should follow their instincts.  If something another student says doesn’t feel right, even just a little bit, it probably isn’t. 

“Either afraid, or guilty, or this is just going against my values, it doesn’t feel right,” says psychologist Dr. Wendy Blumenthal.

Then find an adult you trust.  Someone you can trust to protect your anonymity.  Someone you can trust not to panic when you tell them you’re worried.

Maybe that’s your parents, but it could also be a school counselor, a minister from your church or a coach.

Because if a disaster happens and you stay silent about what you heard, just think how that would make you feel.

“Because if we take everything for granted,” says Crystal, a junior, “this (the school shooting in California) is what can happen.”

Tips for Parents

Police have been able to prevent several ‘Columbine-like’ massacres at US schools recently–thanks to tips from students.  Students notified school officials after learning that other students planned to carry out violent acts.   And while kids are more willing to report threats of violence after Columbine, experts say parents should explain to their children that there is a difference between ‘telling’ and ‘tattling.’

According to the National Education Association (NEA):

• Children ‘tattle’ to get their own way or to get someone else in trouble.
• Children should be encouraged to ‘tell’ an adult when someone is in danger of getting hurt.

Some schools have started anonymous hotlines so that parents or children can provide information that could alert authorities to potential problems.

According to the American Psychological Association one in 12 high schoolers is threatened or injured with a weapon each year.  To reduce that risk, the APA lists several ‘warning signs’ that kids need to recognize in other students, indications that violence is a “serious possibility”:

• Loss of temper on a daily basis
• Frequent physical fighting
• Significant vandalism or property damage
• Increase in use of drugs or alcohol
• Increase in risk-taking behavior
• Detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Announcing threats or plans for hurting others
• Enjoying hurting animals
• Carrying a weapon

Once students recognize a warning sign, the APA says there are things they can do.  Hoping that someone else will deal with the problem is “the easy way out.” The advice for students:

• Above all, be safe.  Don’t spend time alone with people who show warning signs.
• Tell someone you trust and respect about your concerns and ask for help (a family member, guidance counselor, teacher, school psychologist, coach, clergy, or friend).
• If you are worried about becoming a victim of violence, get someone to protect you. Do not resort to violence or use a weapon to protect yourself.

The key to preventing violent behavior, according to the APA, is asking an experienced professional for help. The important thing to remember is, don’t go it alone.

References

• National Education Association
• American Psychological Association

Ryan Duffner’s second birthday was memorable for the Lisa and Rorry Duffner.  There were balloons, a cake and wishes for many more, but, unfortunately, it was Ryan’s last birthday. Two months later Ryan and Lisa, while on their daily walk, were hit by a car.  The driver was a sixteen-year-old who was dialing her cell phone.  The impact threw Ryan thirty feet and Lisa sixty feet. Lisa was knocked unconscious.

 “Three days later I woke up out of a coma, just for my husband to tell me that Ryan wasn’t going to make it,” Lisa says, while fighting back tears. 

Duffner was in such critical condition that doctors wouldn’t allow her to hold her son in the moments before his death. 

“Not to say goodbye to my own baby—that was hard,” she says.

A study by the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis estimates that 6 percent of crashes are due to cell phones, resulting in 2,600 deaths and 12,000 serious injuries per year.

Seventeen-year-old Edgar admits that talking on the phone is often distracting.  “When I’m dialing a number or something like that, I’ve caught myself kind of drifting off,” he says.

Edgar uses the cell phone while driving, in spite of his mom’s strict rules. “She’s always freaking out telling me, ‘Don’t be using your cell phone while you’re driving. ‘” Pull over if you have to,’” he says.

Though Lisa Duffner thinks that cell phones are necessary, she doesn’t have much patience for people that can’t take the time to pull over and make the call. “My biggest thing is just to pull over to make your phone call.  Are you so self-important that you endanger everybody else’s lives?” she says.

Experts say that looking at a detailed phone bill is a way of checking up on kids’ phone usage. “You can look at that, and you can tell if they’re spending a lot of time on the phone coming from school to home. Then obviously they’re doing it,” says Captain Tommy Brown, Department of Public Safety.

But for teenagers, seeing the effects of what can happen, like the death of a two-year-old, may be the strongest tool for convincing them to hang up and drive.

Ryan’s absence reminds Duffner every day of the dangers of driving-while-distracted. “He was just that happy-go-lucky, jump-off-of-everything, friendly little kid.  He just loved life.”

Tips for Parents

It is very likely that your teenager will pick up the majority of his/her driving habits from watching you. According to a survey by Liberty Mutual and Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD), nearly two-thirds of teenagers polled say their parents talk on the cell phone while driving, almost half say their parents speed, and just under one-third say their parents don’t wear seatbelts. The following statistics, therefore, shouldn’t be very surprising:

• Sixty-two percent of high school drivers say they talk on a cell phone while driving, and approximately half of high school teens who do not yet drive (52 percent) and middle school students (47 percent) expect they will engage in this behavior when they begin driving.
• Sixty-seven percent of high school drivers say they speed.
• Thirty-three percent of high school drivers say they do not wear their seatbelt while driving.

Cell phones have been transformed from status symbols into everyday accessories. In fact, cell phones are so prevalent among teenagers that a recent study found that they viewed talking on the phone nearly the same as talking to someone face-to-face. And with the latest studies showing that at least 56 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds own cell phones, the issue of cell phone usage is more pertinent than ever.

If you believe your teen should have a cell phone, it is important to lay down a few ground rules. The National Institute on Media and the Family suggests the following guidelines for setting limits on your teen’s cell phone use:

• Choose a plan that puts some reasonable limits on your teen’s phone time. Make sure he or she knows what the limits are so he or she can do some budgeting.
• Let your teen know that the two of you will be reviewing the bill together so you will have some idea of how the phone is being used.
• If use exceeds the plan limits, the charges can mount very quickly. Make sure your teen has some consequences, financial or otherwise, if limits are exceeded.
• Teach your child about the dangers of using the cell phone while driving and the distractions it can cause.
• Find out what the school’s policies are regarding cell phone use and let your teen know that you will completely support the school’s standards.
• Agree on some cell phone etiquette. For example, no phone calling during meals or when it is bothersome or rude to other people.
• Conversely, let your teen know that any “phone bullying” or cheating via text messaging will not be tolerated.
• Let your teen know that his or her use of the cell phone is contingent on following the ground rules. No compliance, no phone.

References

• Harvard Center for Risk Analysis
• Liberty Mutual
• Rutgers University
• Students Against Destructive Decisions- SADD

In today’s generation of technology many kids are found behind their computer screens, cell phones, IPods, etc rather than participating in physical activities.  It is important for parents to encourage their children and teens alike to become more active. It can not only stimulate your brain but offers stress relief when the pressures of being a teen can become overwhelming.  PE4Life offers some educational and important information for parents - read more and take the time to exercise your mind!

Source: PE4Life

Parents

Parents are busy with a full workday, helping their children with homework, engaging their children in after school activities, and so on. This doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for physical activity in your own lives. Do you realize that schools have devalued and cut physical education to the point that the majority of children get one day of PE per week? Children today have a shorter life expectancy than their parents for the first time in one hundred years because of the epidemic of obesity, according to Dr. William Klish, Professor of Pediatrics and Head of Pediatric Gastroenterology at Baylor College of Medicine. Lack of PE at school is a disservice to your child’s health. Speak up. Demand that your school offers daily quality physical education. Use PE4life as a resource partner to enhance your school’s PE program. A recent study revealed that 81% of teachers and 85% of parents favor requiring students to take physical education every day at every grade level. As parents, you can rally people in your community to get involved by ordering a PE4life Community Action kit video and show it to the PTA, the school board and other community groups. The next step is to invite PE4life to make a presentation to your school leaders, bring a team of people to train at a PE4life Academy, or invite PE4life to do an in-service for your school staff. As your resource partner, PE4life can provide these and many other services to your school as you work to get children more active and healthy.

The PE4life Approach to Physical Education:

• Be offered to every child every day
• Be available for all students, not just the athletically inclined
• Provide a wide variety of sports and fitness activities to promote an active and healthy lifestyle  
• Assess students on their personal progress toward fitness and physical activity goals
• Incorporate technology on a regular basis

• Extend beyond the walls of the gymnasium to form community and business partnerships

   

Today’s “New P.E.,” as exemplified by PE4life, is a health-and-wellness-based approach to physical education that caters to all students, not just the athletically inclined.  Students are encouraged to pursue a variety of sports and physical activities (team and individual) – for a lifetime. 

• Get Involved—Become a Friend of PE4life, get your community involved, sign up up for the PE4life newsletter and communicate to government leaders.
• News & Info—Get the latest information on physical education, childhood obesity,  exercise and the brain, youth fitness and legislative news.  Also link to other great websites.
• Results—Review research findings and measurable outcomes of PE programs.
• Grant Info—Find creative sources of funding for the physical education program at your child’s school and a forum where you can ask questions or share your thoughts and successes.
• PE4life Program Services—Find information about our Program Service Packages, how to order our services, training dates, academy locations, and testimonials.
• Events–Find dates for Academy Training, National PE4life Day, PE4life Workshops, and PE Conferences.

One of the hottest topics right now with parents and teens is “sexting” - are you aware of what is going on in cyberspace with your kids?   Take the time to learn more about this and most importantly - talk to your kids about it.  Teen Sex Talk online is growing at a rapid pace - which means parents have no time to waste - stop - listen and talk to your kids today.

Source: Connect with Kids

“My parents have no idea what’s going on or anything.  I think parents should know, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff going on.”

– Chris, age 16

On a lazy afternoon, when their parents aren’t around, friends Gareth, Minh and Chris enjoy some innocent fun.

But when they log onto the Internet, what they find in chat rooms is anything but innocent.

“Just stuff like flat out, like ‘I want to have sex with you, I want to **** you, I want to do this, I want to do that,” says 17-year-old Minh, who has surfed the web for about six years.

“She was saying stuff like ooh, I’m touching myself now, what are you doing.  It’s like, you know, way out of bounds,” says Chris, 16.

It’s shocking, but experts say it’s not uncommon.  According to a new survey, 20 percent of teens say they’ve taken nude photos of themselves and either posted them online or sent them out via email.

“Kids are horny, I mean it just seems like they want to do more of that,” says 17-year-old Gareth.

Parents may feel inclined to simply shut down the computer, but experts say curious kids will find a way to get online.  Instead, over and over, starting when they’re little, parents need to insist their kids be responsible in all their decisions- whether on the Internet or not.

 “It’s not that you specifically are able to prepare a child for internet and chat rooms but it’s how you connect with your kid and try to prepare them for all aspects of life,” explains psychologist Vincent Ho, Ph.D.

Tips for Parents

Pornography is not merely a fringe-element problem, and addiction to it is not just a stage in life. It is a very real and mainstream problem today. Consider the following statistics from 2003:

• The pornography industry made $57 billion worldwide; $12 billion in the United States.
• Porn revenue is larger than the combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.
• U.S. porn revenue is nearly double the combined revenues of the three biggest television networks (ABC, CBS and NBC revenues total $6.2 billion).
• Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.
• Nearly one out of every eight websites is a pornographic site (4.2 million in all).
• One-quarter of all Internet search engine requests are for pornography (68 million per day).
• Over two billion pornographic e-mails are sent daily.
• The average age of the first exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old.
• The largest consumers of Internet pornography are 12- to 17-year-olds.
• Eighty percent of teenagers ages 15 to 17 report having multiple hardcore exposures to pornography on the Internet.
• Nine out of 10 children 8 to 16 years old have viewed pornography online, mostly while doing homework.

In the past, pornography was mainly limited to artwork, magazines and the red-light districts. With the advent of the Internet and cable television, however, pornography has now made its way into our family rooms, home offices and kids’ bedrooms. It is easily – and often inadvertently — accessible by children and teenagers, and parents must work even harder to prevent their children from becoming addicted to it.

The best cure for addiction is prevention. Experts at the Jacob Wetterling Foundation developed the following tips to help parents prevent their children from becoming addicted to pornography:

• Place home computers in a central area of the house, not a child’s bedroom or secluded area. Make surfing the Internet a family experience.
• Talk with your children about what they can and cannot do online, while trying to understand their needs, interests and curiosity.
• Know your child’s password and screen names; they may have more than one.
• Set reasonable time limits on computer use, and ensure that your children adhere to the limitations.
• Parents (not children) should always establish and maintain an Internet service provider account (AOL, Earthlink, MSN), and the account should always be in a parent’s name (not a child’s). This ensures that a parent can legally maintain control of the account’s use and can access records if necessary. If an account is set up in a child’s name, it may be difficult, if not impossible, to obtain account information without the child’s permission.
• You should also realize that children may be accessing the Internet from outside the home, such as friend’s homes, work, libraries and school.
• Be open with your children and encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem online.
• Explore filtering and blocking software, which is used to sort information on the Internet and classify it according to content. A major drawback is that some filtering may block innocent sites, while many “negative” sites still get past the filters. Though these programs can be great assets, parents still need to maintain open communication with their children to inform and protect them.

Many parents may suspect their children of being sexually addicted, but may not be sure of the warning signs. Victor Cline, Ph.D., an expert on pornography and its effects, encourages parents to be on the lookout for the following symptoms of sexual addiction:

• A pattern of out-of-control sexual behavior
• Experiencing severe consequences due to sexual behavior, and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences
• Persistent pursuit of self-destructive behavior
• Ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior
• Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy
• Regularly increasing the amount of sexual experience because the current level of activity is no longer satisfying
• Severe mood changes related to sexual activity
• Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual and/or recovering from sexual experiences
• Neglect of important social, occupational or recreational activities because of sexual behavior

If you discover your child viewing pornography or you know it is a problem in his/her life, reassure him/her. Let your child know that while you don’t agree with the use of pornography, you still love them and expect them to do better. Rob Jackson, a professional counselor specializing in sexual addiction and codependency, suggests taking the following four-area approach to prevent the possibility of your child using pornography in the future:

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  • Behavioral – Behavioral approaches attempt to prevent a scenario from developing in the first place. The house and grounds, for example, should be purged of all pornography. Media should be carefully screened for “triggers” that serve as gateways to acting-out. If the problem occurred with the Internet, a filter can be one of your strategies, although it can never replace parental supervision and involvement. Other common sense approaches include moving the computer to the family room where others can easily view the screen, limiting the time on the computer and making sure no one is alone on the Internet, and developing a mission statement that directs the family’s use of the computer and the Internet.
  • Cognitive – Pornography generates destructive myths about sexuality. Once your child is exposed, it will be critically important to initiate a comprehensive sex education program, if you have not already done so. The child will need to learn what and how to think about sexuality. More than mere behaviors, parents will want to communicate the core values of sexuality, the multifaceted risks of sex outside of marriage, and their ongoing compassion for what it must be like to grow up in this culture.
  • Emotive – Sex is inherently emotional. Premarital sex has even been linked with codependency, where at least one person becomes compelled or addicted to be in relationship with another. The youth culture would lead you to believe that sex is not necessarily emotional for them – don’t believe it. Sexual relations of any type bond the bodies, minds and spirits of two individuals. At the conscious level, this attachment is largely emotional. Your children need to understand that emotional attachment is often involuntary, and especially when the relationship has been compromised sexually.
  • Spiritual – At its core, sexual integrity comes down to a spiritual commitment. Share your beliefs with your children, and explain to them the reasons to avoid the trappings of pornography. A strong spiritual foundation can be the best prevention method against pornography.

References

• Berkman Center for Internet and Society
• Jacob Wetterling Foundation
• Pure Intimacy
• TeenHealthFX

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